We Should Talk About It...

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For anyone who doesn't know-i.e. anyone who hasn't read any of my other blog posts-I suffer from anxiety.
It's not uncommon to come across a person who is affected by anxiety now a days, and with this it is becoming more common to talk about it; I like this. 

Anxiety-like any other kind of mental illness-is a real thing and just like all other illnesses, I believe it is important to talk about mental disorders as much as we can. By openly talking about them, we are bringing awareness to these problems and helping people understand them better.

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I used to completely avoid talking about my anxiety what-so-ever because I was so incredibly scared that people would think that I was making it up or that they would tell me that its all in my head (which I still get a lot of).
But that's the thing with anxiety; it is all in my head and I know it! That's part of the reason it's so hard to deal with, because while I'm having an anxiety attack, I know that it's in my head and there is no reason to be anxious but my mind won't stop running.

It usually goes something like this:

1.) Something triggers my anxiety. (It can literally be almost anything.)

2.) I try my hardest to ignore the unsettling feeling growing inside my stomach, and that I'm having trouble breathing.

3.) Then my mind fixates on these, and I realize what is happening; therefore, in an attempt not to let myself panic, I begin to panic about the fact that I am starting to panic. (Silly, I know.)

4.) Then-most times than not-these feelings begin to take over and I have some kind of anxiety or panic attack. All the while I am trying my hardest to calm down, knowing I am in no sort of danger in any way.

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Anxiety is frustrating and vicious. I am well aware that my loved ones get tired of helping me through it sometimes, and I don't blame them. I get tired of it as well. It frustrates me more than it possibly could any of them, so I understand.

But something that you need to understand if you are a loved one of someone who suffers from anxiety; they need you. We need you. We need the support of the people we love. 

Mind you, everyone is different. Mental illnesses, including anxiety, effect everyone differently.

 Some people wear it so well, that you can't see it. You have to look beyond the surface and watch for the smallest signs. 

Others don't hide it at all; they let it consume them and you can spot it a mile away. 

Some people like to be left alone, and given space when this happens. 

Others need to be held, to feel safe and immensely loved.

 And some are right in the middle; they need your attention, to know that you care and are ready to do whatever they need, but require breathing room. 

Everyone is different.

I'm not saying I'm any kind of expert on anxiety in any way. I'm just taking this opportunity to tell anyone who's willing to listen [well, read] what I have learned in my years of dealing with my own anxiety. 

And I have learned that the only way to really be able to recognize when your loved one is having some kind of attack and how to respond to it in a way that helps them, is to ask. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it will make things so much easier for the both of you.You will know how to help them and they will get the help they need.

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Moral of the story is, learning about mental illnesses especially when you or someone you love are affected by them, is incredibly beneficial to everyone in the mix. 

I have learned an abundance of new things about my anxiety since I started reading more about it. Living with it, and around it, is much easier when you are educated.

I hope this helped you understand a little more about anxiety.
And if not, I hope you had a nice read!

Love Always,
Mari!

Goodbye 2015!

Hello lovelies!

This year, for some odd reason, I have not been feeling very festive! I began feeling festive around the time of Thanksgiving, but that's about as far as my spirit got. I still don't feel like Christmas has even happened yet. I'm not sure if maybe it's because there was no snow for the holidays this year, or maybe because I was away at school leading up to them that got me all goofed up. Either way, I cannot believe its already New Years Eve!

2015 was a fairly good year for me, and I hope it was the same, if not better for you. It holds some of the best memories I've ever made and some of the worst. But all-in-all it was definitely a year of change, growth and learning for me. 

Many things changed in my life and I can't really categorize any of them under good or bad because like everything we go through, there are positives and negatives and lessons learned. Some of the lessons I learned this year are; 

1. It's okay to say no. 

2. It's okay to say yes. 

3. It's okay to feel. In fact you must feel and address your problems rather than push them all away, or else they will build up and explode. 

4. Things are going to come to an end but that's part of life. 

5. New things will begin. 

6. You will be okay. 

One thing that really had an impact on me this year was my anxiety. It seems to have come to an all-time high in the past few months but I have been learning how to deal with it and accept help. After trying to ignore my anxiety for six years, it feels much nicer to finally face it and let it happen and find ways to fix it, rather than shove it under the rug and pretend its not eating me from the inside. 

In 2015 I made many discoveries within myself and stepped out of my comfort zone in a lot of ways. In some ways its hard to say goodbye to 2015 and the memories and milestone-passings it holds, but I am proud of the things I have accomplished and am ready to step into 2016 with an open mind and to continue moving forward and making positive changes in my life and doing things to help myself be a happier, healthier me. 

So, farewell 2015! It's been a pleasure. 

Lots of Love,

Mari! 

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